Category Archives: Crafts and What Not

Sew What?

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Entertaining The Dog is a full-time job. She is not very good at entertaining herself, mostly because she destroys any toys we get for her within about eleven minutes of us handing the toy to her. Makes for expensive and very short-lived fun for her.

Recently, The Girl and I did a little “spring cleaning.” What that meant was that we pulled a box out of the closet that we hadn’t unpacked since moving in to go through it. Please don’t judge. In our zealous cleaning, we discovered behind the box an old body pillow. The Girl no longer needs a body pillow, as she has, well…me. Also The Dog. Seeing as the body pillow was just taking up space, we put it in a pile of stuff to take to Goodwill. The Dog does not understand Goodwill. The Dog understands “anything on the ground is a toy.” So, she immediately grabbed it in her teeth and thrashed it about. Right on cue, eleven minutes later, she had torn a hole in the pillow case and looked to be on the brink of killing yet another toy.

But this time, this time I would intervene. This time there would NOT be another dead toy tossed into the trashcan. NAY! I am resourceful. I am creative. I am old enough to be comfortable saying that I am in touch with my softer side (which happens to be my midsection). I would save the day by CREATING a durable pillowcase, thus allowing The Dog to continue thrashing the pillow around like a great white on a seal pup. Like a monkey on a cupcake. Like a…well, i’m out of analogies.

Here’s a free tip: Michael’s does not have fabric. None. Not even a bit. Joann’s FABRICS? Yeah – they’ve got fabric. Not like “fabric” is in the name of the store or anything. Am I resourceful, yes. Am I bright, not always.

I got duck cloth. It’s not made of ducks, it doesn’t feel like ducks, it doesn’t have a duck pattern. It IS very durable though. Seriously I spent about thirty minutes looking at all the different fabrics. Eventually, it came down to a choice between the duck cloth and denim but the duck cloth just felt a little more sturdy. And it was more fun to say. Duck cloth.

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to sew. I mean, I’ve mended a few things with needle and thread, but I was making a pillow case to cover a four foot tall pillow, so hand sewing that bad boy was just out of the question (full disclosure – I tried to hand sew it. The experiment ended with a lot of cursing and very little progress). Fortunately, The Girl’s family was coming for a visit, and they promised to bring a sewing machine. The Girl’s family isn’t quite sure what to make of the fact that she ended up with a guy who wants to learn to sew, but they seem to have accepted me for who I am. They are good people.

Here we are trying to figure out the sewing machine:

It took a while, but The Girl’s mom finally managed to teach me how to run the sewing machine.

I was the baby bird, flying out of the nest for the first time. Any success I had was due to the fact that I had an excellent coach. I managed to stitch some velcro on the inside of the top of the pillow case, then run a seam down the side and the bottom of the pillow case. After that, the only thing left to do was case the pillow and see if The Dog would go after it with as much vigor as she did previously.

Here’s the answer:

Pillow Fights are never as sexy as they sound.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, and dogs. The Boy was able to competently work a sewing machine, make a pillow case, save a pillow from being discarded, and entertain The Dog, all for the low low price of about $9 in fabric, and two hours of learning and working time.

Diamond Drill Bits: A Girl’s Best Friend!

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I adore pendant lights.  All colors, sizes, wattage, shapes, and finishes.  I “window shop” for them on the internet frequently.  Someone must tell me, though, why they are so dang expensive!  Maybe I am just poor, or cheap (ahem – frugal), but I could not bring myself to spend $200 on one measly little light, despite my obsession.

I was browsing at a thrift store one day (which I regularly do for no reason), and saw a beautiful multi-colored glass bowl.  It caught my eye from across the store.  I wasn’t quite sure what I would do with it, so I carried it around the store with me.  I put it down a few times, but only got a few feet away before I ran back and grabbed it and held it tightly, for fear someone else would snatch it up. For the low, low price of $4, I decided to buy the bowl now, and figure the rest out later. You can probably figure out where this is going.

I knew that Home Depot sold pendant light kits, but they are mix and match deals, where you choose the finish of your hardware and some variation of a glass cover.  I, however, bought just the hardware, in brushed nickel.  I am SUCH a rebel.

Herein lies the problem.  The threaded bottom of the hardware is about an inch in diameter, and there is a separate piece that screws on to hold the glass in place.  I had to put a 1 inch hole in the bottom of my new bowl, which required a fancy new diamond drill bit.  My level of excitement over a new drill bit, on a scale from comatose to hyperventilating, was somewhere around flapping my arms in a happy dance when this baby arrived in the mail:

I learned that the “legend” on the right side of the packaging indicates what materials the drill will go through.  There are all kinds of bits for all kinds of materials, such as wood, glass, tile, brick, cement, etc.  This one has the symbols for tile and glass, and shows dripping water at the bottom right, which tells you to keep the material wet while you drill, so that it doesn’t overheat.

I put the bowl upside down in the utility sink in the garage, put the tap on a very slow drip (I was basically water boarding my fancy new bowl), and started drilling.  It is exceedingly difficult to get the hole started, because the bit slips around on the surface of the glass. With some decent pressure, and determination, I finally started making some headway.  It. Took. For. Ever.  My hand cramped.  My neck hurt.  I contracted tennis elbow.  I developed an appetite.  I took several breaks.  But I persisted.  Finally, gloriously, and unexpectedly, I broke through.  Eureka!!!  I was so excited because The Boy had been a naysayer, was amused when the new drill bit arrived in the mail, and I purposely tackled this challenge while he was not home.  And I succeeded!!

I sprinted inside with my now hole-ridden bowl, ripped the packaging off of the pendant hardware, and tried the bowl on for size.

It didn’t fit.

Oh, the frustration.  After I gathered myself, I realized that the hole was just slightly not large enough.  I went back into the garage, still very glad The Boy had not returned, and used the drill bit at an angle to slowly make the hole a little bit bigger.  It took a solid ten minutes, and sounded like nails on a chalkboard, but it worked.  I triumphantly slid the bowl over the threaded end, and screwed on the piece that held the glass in place.  The Boy was most impressed when he came home to this beauty:

She has been hanging out in the new bathroom ever since:

Total cost:  $18.97 (if you do not include the cost of the drill bit, which I am not, since it is a permanent resident of my toolbox now).  You can’t beat that price!  I am currently on the hunt for two large glass urns to make hanging pendant lights for the master bath we will soon be demolishing.  I’ll be sure to update you when they have been located!